Giving the Best

So, this time of the year is snacking season--there are lots of treats and goodies as well as a bagillion holiday parties to attend (my Confirmation party included a junk food buffet--yikes!). And then, of course, the new year rolls around and you realize how many of those yummy treats were oh so yucky for your little body. I know so many people make resolutions about losing weight in the new year. Similarly, so many brides make resolutions to lose x amount of pounds before the big day.


I have sort of fallen into the latter category. I'm not a skinny minnie and of course I want to look AMAZING for my big day. However, I've been thinking about why brides obsess about it so much (besides the obvious cultural influences). Why am I so panic struck that I'm going to be walking down the aisle in less than 5 months and I'm not a size 0?


I have come to my own conclusion: I think it's because we want to be our best and give our future spouse the best of us. I've noticed that I feel like I'm failing my fiance' in all areas of my life--not just my body. For instance, I realize how much of an emotional mess I am, how unorganized my room and house is, how sporadic my prayer and spiritual life is when I want it to be stellar, etc, etc. Not exercising is just another item to add to the list that's longer than Santa's. I want my life to be perfect before I incorporate my fiance's life into it! I want to give the person I love the best of who I am, not the second rate part.

Obviously, marriage and life are not about being perfect but about being real. I'm not 98 pounds. I am kind of a messy person and a type A personality to say the least. I worry too much and I'm very stubborn. That's real. I guess perhaps I need to come to grips with the real me more than my fiance' does. He finds all those things endearing while I find them revolting. The very real part of the whole dilemma is that I am giving my best because I am doing my best with what I have. Maybe it's not perfect but it's the best I've got for now.